What’s Your Purpose?

Don’t Die before you are Dead

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The energy emitted from your presence is indicative to how alive you are internally. Some of us are among the walking-dead, slowing trying to attack or victimize others who are desperately holding on to a smidgen of life. People who have died years ago have lost their purpose for living on this earth. The secret is there is not one set purpose for being created or living! You were placed here to make a purpose for yourself. Procreation is only a partial reason for living and the other half God said make a way!

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Yet only a few take on the charge of searching, risking, finding, and exploring out of fear of failure or disappointment; therefore, some of us settle before its too late, die before we are dead, and loose before we lost. What’s your purpose?

~Drea

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Read To Remain Ignorant Not To Grow

Be carful what you read. It can limit your thinking to a point of restricted growth keeping you ignorant only to a limited set of beliefs or in contrast, it can broaden and expand your thinking to horizons you never dreamed possible leaving you in a small minimums population of people who think, behave, and understand others in such a way that majority of non readers may find your mental stability to be odd, strange, different, or plain out weird.

There’s nothing wrong with reading but a lot wrong with not reading something everyday. Yet, having the wrong literature in front your eyes can stomp your growth to the point that you may become ignorant to reality. Reading an array of literature is most likely the safest bet, and the better way of maintaining the slightest amount of sanity left after the digestion of junk and subliminal programming our brains are affected by daily.

Having read a plethora of literature, literature mainly on just life & living , an expansion occurred within that caused a great flow of awareness that If possible the wish would be for it to be erased.

Understanding has a limit and should be capped to prevent movies such as The Matrix, Lucy, & any other mentally challenged themed movie created to reach top billboards and receive high marks from critics, who themselves have exhausted their understanding to the point of no return.

It’s the books and wealth of knowledge that surround us-is about us/ that If studied carefully will reveal a reality that to the norm or majority of the world would be repulsive and offensive. Yet to avid readers these movies and philosophers, such as, Thomas Paine, Robert Greene, & Paulo Coelho recognized the shades of deception that are pulled down daily through media as well as through the many foot soldiers who know not their duty or mission.

In summary read but be careful of your selections! Set aside any prejudice or bias beliefs and read those things that keep you privy to the lies, so that you can become a foot solider as well! If you wish to live happily lay the books down…& choose a magazine on pop culture. The rest of us who choose to expand like Lucy, can never go back, and for that reason, it’s better to stay where you are programmed to remain.

~Drea

Our Black Girls…

Our Black Girls…

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If it’s not their skin pigment, it’s their hair, or their self-awareness of what society identifies as beautiful or not. Our black girls feel that their hair is never quite long enough or their skin not quite fair enough to identify themselves as beautiful; therefore, as parents of young girls, it is imperative that we tell our young women how beautiful they are and how wonderful they are just as they are! Although, we hint or allude our thoughts to our young women, saying it regularly is a necessity that our young women should hear daily.

When is the last time, you told a young black girl that she was absolutely beautiful?  If we don’t tell them and reinforce it, we can’t wait for society to step up and do it. It’s obvious that we’ll never make black beauty an important enough topic world-wide because what is viewed and accepted as beautiful in America is white.  Our girls are told through movies, videos, commercials, and beauty pageants that black women have a difficult time appealing to this invisible man-made societal belief that black women aren’t in the rankings of being the Most Beautiful Women Alive! Yet we are!

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Our skin tones vary in such that we fall between Praline Cream to Chocolate Velvet, but all we see is light skin and black. We have the body shape that all women from Brazilians to Irish go under the knife to achieve! We have strong dominated features that pronounce our presence in this world as Queens. Along with our outstanding attributes, we hold a strength that only we as Black women possess and can never be reproduced by any other.

All this is true, yet so very few gravitate towards the belief that they are beautiful.  What is seen instead is what society has labeled as beautiful. We have been taught to undermine those features that make us beautiful in order to suppress our security and confidence. Imagine if all black women knew the secret that they are absolutely beautiful?  Degrading oneself would stop, chasing men would stop, feeling insecure or needy would stop, and most of all, we’d stop looking for a man to validate or ensure that we exist because everything we need is already embedded within ourselves.

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And little black girls would feel confident enough to walk around understanding that their skin is marvelous, their presence is intimidating, and that other women study their very being in an attempt to clone something that is either innate or not.

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Little white girls are told they are beautiful everyday just by turning on the television or watching a movie, while our girls are rarely and scarcely ever portrayed as beautiful!  So the charge for today and everyday henceforth, is to remind every black girl contacted that she is absolutely gorgeous and to be proud and confident enough to show it!

~Drea

The Lottery

Helen Keller said, “Being Blind is bad, but having eyes and not seeing is worse.”

lotteryI recently read “The Lottery,” by Shirley Jackson, which is probably one of the most situational ironic stories I have ever read. As I was reading the story and began to analyze the overall hypocrisy and theme attached, I realized how quickly we as people are to grasp an idea or concept and accept it to no end and without consequence.

Man. vs. Society conflict is present in everyday living; Jackson outlines the sneaky or subliminal ideas that our government, media, and social leaders program our brains to receive with zero questions.

In the short story, Jackson titles “The Lottery,” to create an idea in the readers mind that someone will gain or win something valuable; therefore, as the reader reads on, Jackson carefully, but knowingly adds symbolic references to death and bad luck as presented by the following: black spot and box, three legged stool, perfect setting, and she even plays with the characters names, such as, Mr. Graves, and Mrs. Hutchinson.

I thought of Helen Keller’s quote after reading the story and began to realize her overall theme or message to the world. Because the story has no original setting or set location, the story is referencing society as a whole and the various ideas we as citizens adopt without challenge or cause.

I thought of a few beliefs that are pressed upon us that could very well serve as an example of thinking we are winning, but actually winning to lose:

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Student Loans are required for any student who has not received a scholarship or award based off their educational achievements in high school; therefore, majority of minority students rank in the latter. We are segregated by bias test, of course, the obvious race segregation has been banned, yet most parents of minority students push the college and higher educational spoon into our mouths not knowing that the acceptance into the college also means higher debt for that child. But most minority students and graduates enjoy boasting about their educational achievements. Yet, fail to mention the debt accumulated from trying to win a “lottery ticket.” Winning but losing.

The belief that success is measured by the amount of money, the size of your home, bank account, credit score, social life, personal life, family, and overall our socioeconomic status is false. Yet, those of us who purchase those homes purchase them not from need, but for image. Those of us who purchase the cars we know others want to see, don’t purchase it for us, we purchase it for them. While, success is not measured externally, our society, especially the media, does exactly what Jackson and Keller display throughout their writings as believing we are winning when the win is actually a lose!

Although, at the end of Jackson’s short story, Mrs. Hutchinson’s family received the black dot and therefore, won the Lottery for that year. I can’t help but notice the allusion created by having the husbands draw the ticket as representing the curses and cycles created by families that become difficult for other family members to break out of or even notice for that matter; if the husbands win the first round, he will then have to subject his family to another risk. I see this as Nathaniel Hawthorne represented Hester Prynne in the Scarlet Letter; it becomes a scar of shame.

Winning the Lottery, in Jackson’s story delivers the message that a family would be scarred for life. Winning meant never being the same again. Even though, society has created multiple ideas and beliefs from religion to education that set us up for the black spot, we are unable to recognize them because challenging a tradition or belief is seen as radical and most of us would rather conform than fight regardless of the ridiculous nature for which the ideas present.

And in order to not be a spoiler, I will not proceed with the ending, but I do recommend it for a good read.

The Lottery

Drea Yaya

LIFE LESSONS THROUGH MUSICAL LYRICS

Lost One Lauryn Hill

Strangely, artists who deliver profound life learning lessons through their lyrics, rarely stay around long. Lauryn Hill definitely is one of those artist! Her songs: “Lost One,” “Forgive them Father,” “Doo Wop,” When it Hurts so Bad,” and “Ex-Factor,” are among the most educational pieces of music to ever exist!

Doo Wop

Lauryn speaks magic through her lyrics and truly understands people! Some of the topics in her music discuss life’s perpetrators, people who fake “being” in order to gain attention, empathy, and  or social likeness verses being self.  In her lyrics she teaches about being “real black women,” being honest with ourselves and learning to identify the surface level brothers. Lauryn speaks on being patient and allowing what will be…BE..no forcing!

LIBERATION Outcast, Cee-Lo, Big Rube, and Erykah Badu

Young People! Shake that load off! Really, there isn’t much to discuss. Listen and Learn! We are all Slaves…Liberate the mind and lift the shade that has been pulled over our eyes!

UnEmotional Men

UnEmotional Men

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Everyone just wants to be loved. Love?

I recently read the Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman and concluded that as black people, we have really never been taught how to love or how to receive love. In his book, he discusses the five love languages as being:

Words of Affirmation; Quality Time; Receiving Gifts; Acts of Service; Physical Touch

After purchasing the book and reading it, I found more articles and resources online to support his thesis that everyone has a love language and if an interested party understands that particular person’s language, love will develop. Read the following link for more details.

http://www.iacac.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/D31-I-Hate-Your-Job-The-5-Love-Languages.pdf

How does this theory apply to black women and men?

As black women, we sometimes settle for unemotional unmotivated men who lack the ability to not only provide the language we need to grow unconditional love, but they also lack the ability to receive the love we as black women give. Let’s face it, as women we are spiritually and naturally gifted in the area of love and understanding how to nurture anything into existence. Not just children but relationships as well. It’s our POWER!

Yet, from pure observation and experience, I have witnessed our men lacking the capacity to protect our emotions, however, they seek and acquire the ability to belittle, downplay, or degrade our emotions to then associate them into categories, such as: drama, weak, emotional, needy, or believe it or not being too feminine. How can a woman be too feminine?

I’ve studied and watched Caucasian relationships and have concluded that their men seem to protect their women because their women tend to allow their men to be men and they allow themselves to be women. Whereas, when I look into our relationships as black people, I notice that black relationships are the opposite. The black woman has to settle more than the white woman. She can’t be emotional or exhibit any signs of weakness or what I call signs of just being a woman without some black men viewing her as too much to handle. He can’t help her because he himself is too out of touch with his own strengths as man, which are sometimes stripped from him during childhood from a stern masculine mother, that he lacks the ability to protect her and provide her with the love language he very well knows can deliver the kind of love that builds strong families.

Our Hearts!

Some black men view women who follow and lead by their hearts as a challenge; therefore, seek women of a more masculine manner and attitude. Some even prefer their women to be extremely independent and unemotionally affected that she can very well do without him leaving room for him as the leader and the man in their relationship to have it easy and basically disable him from being what God created him to be-The protector.

My belief is that since some African-American men and women have adopted this gender role reversal, that one problem we face within ourselves is being too weak and being too passive that it prevents our families from growing, our women from being feminine goddesses, and forcing our men to become more feminine than our women. No woman should have to be logical and think logically when it comes down to a man. That’s his job! We should be natural friaries!

What has happened is a destruction of the black family and a further destruction and limitation of strong secure black men. It seems the less a woman needs a man, the more a man wants a woman. It used to be that the Spider Man’s or Super Mans of our world enjoyed coming to the damsel in distress’s rescue because men viewed a woman as a weaker sex and therefore, she needed him to protect her and save her. Now, the damsel in distress is left on the roof top parapet awaiting her Superhero and may very well grow old there. Instead, the superhero looks for Wonder Woman! He looks for the woman to save his emotions, to help him through his situation, and carry him on her shoulders! If that isn’t feminine, that what is? Yet, when examining black relationships, most black men enjoy and practically thrive off the Wonder Woman. While, he is content with being her Robin!

Solution:

Women should always follow their hearts no matter what the deception she creates from thinking or over analyzing why her emotions aren’t being cared for. Our minds are truly decepticons leading us astray off the path to love ever so often, but as women, we usually know our hearts, and we usually feel when we need to leave or stay with a man. Yet, because of our innate energy to nurture and care for others, we will allow our minds to convince us that feeling horrible and allowing our emotions to be downplayed and unprotected is a normal occurrence that must be accepted.

Oprah interviewed one of my favorite authors the other night, Paulo Coelho, author of The Alchemist and Veronika Must Die and here are a few quotes he mentioned about the heart:

“Listen to your Heart, It knows all Things”

“Know what you Want”

“Don’t Betray Your Heart Ever”

“Know the difference between your heart and your head”

“The Universe will give you exactly what your Heart, not your head desires”

“Everybody knows what they want!”

What Serene Williams Means to Black Women?

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What Serene Williams Means to Black Women?

If you ask any black girl to name a famous black female athlete, they will more than likely say Serene Williams! And today, Serene won her 18th Grand Slam in New York, at the US Open, against Caroline Wozniacki!

What does she represent for black girls? She represents Confidence, Hard-work, and Dedication! If every black woman possessed those attributes within herself, they too can receive:

$4 MILLION Dollars and an 18 karat gold bracelet!

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I love this girl because she is relentless and inspiring. Her dedication to the game of tennis corroborates the idea that WE truly can do anything WE put our mind’s too!

Congratulations Serene Williams!

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I too Believe!

Please read the full recap below!

 http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/tennis/2014/09/07/serena-williams-beats-caroline-wozniacki-us-open/15255559/ 

`~Drea Yaya

 

Blog for discussing and restoring black beauty and self-confidence

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