Category Archives: The Mind

Sonya “Missy” Vance

Sonya Missy Vance


There is nothing more powerful than the mind. A person’s heart is controlled only the mind. What information is received through the ears is transported straight to the brain and held there. From there, one is able to conceive a thought, which in turn creates a feeling.

The words cancer had to enter Missy’s ears first and then travel straight to her brain and from that, her brain reported to her heart. Ok. Missy, what do you feel?

Feeling=an emotional state of reaction

What do you feel Missy? At that time, several feelings erupted within the heart trying to situate itself upon only one, yet several sprawled out of control all at once. The thoughts of MyMy, my daughter, what will happen with her, I will have to be strong for myself as well as for her because God gave her to me, I am her mother. My job is to protect her, so what about her? How will I do this?


The thoughts of Wooder, my mother, who gave birth for me, what will I say to her, that’s more strength I will need in order to endure this. What should I feel then?


Missy had several feelings to choose from: defeat, gladness, misery, triumph, depression, joy, sadness, happiness, anger, perseverance, resentment, and strength. But Missy threw them all down and decided to choose nothing but LOVE.

She continued to laugh, she continued to say whatever she desired with no filter because that’s exactly what made us love her! She didn’t change…she didn’t change.

She continued to be mean, yet she was witty. Despite what you felt, she said how she felt and that was that, but it was just fine because that’s why we loved her!


Missy chose love. With love nothing goes wrong. She knew that. Missy chose the feeling of love. Seven years of unconditional unmeasurable love. Love that can not be measured by a ruler, a measuring cup, or any mathematical equation. Missy chose love by focusing on her family being with us whenever possible. Love that MyMy felt more than anyone and love that Wooder will keep with her forever. A thought is conceived through words which are received by the ears and seven years ago, Missy heard words that could have defeated her and taken her into despair, but Missy: Mean, beautiful, Witty, Funny, witty, and full of laughter. Missy: a wonderful mother, a devoted daughter, a sister, and a tremendous friend chose love out of all the feelings in the world to feel.


Missy chose this one-LOVE-because it is the best one to FEEL!

February 29th, 1972-May 16th, 2015


What’s Your Purpose?

Don’t Die before you are Dead


The energy emitted from your presence is indicative to how alive you are internally. Some of us are among the walking-dead, slowing trying to attack or victimize others who are desperately holding on to a smidgen of life. People who have died years ago have lost their purpose for living on this earth. The secret is there is not one set purpose for being created or living! You were placed here to make a purpose for yourself. Procreation is only a partial reason for living and the other half God said make a way!


Yet only a few take on the charge of searching, risking, finding, and exploring out of fear of failure or disappointment; therefore, some of us settle before its too late, die before we are dead, and loose before we lost. What’s your purpose?


Read To Remain Ignorant Not To Grow

Be carful what you read. It can limit your thinking to a point of restricted growth keeping you ignorant only to a limited set of beliefs or in contrast, it can broaden and expand your thinking to horizons you never dreamed possible leaving you in a small minimums population of people who think, behave, and understand others in such a way that majority of non readers may find your mental stability to be odd, strange, different, or plain out weird.

There’s nothing wrong with reading but a lot wrong with not reading something everyday. Yet, having the wrong literature in front your eyes can stomp your growth to the point that you may become ignorant to reality. Reading an array of literature is most likely the safest bet, and the better way of maintaining the slightest amount of sanity left after the digestion of junk and subliminal programming our brains are affected by daily.

Having read a plethora of literature, literature mainly on just life & living , an expansion occurred within that caused a great flow of awareness that If possible the wish would be for it to be erased.

Understanding has a limit and should be capped to prevent movies such as The Matrix, Lucy, & any other mentally challenged themed movie created to reach top billboards and receive high marks from critics, who themselves have exhausted their understanding to the point of no return.

It’s the books and wealth of knowledge that surround us-is about us/ that If studied carefully will reveal a reality that to the norm or majority of the world would be repulsive and offensive. Yet to avid readers these movies and philosophers, such as, Thomas Paine, Robert Greene, & Paulo Coelho recognized the shades of deception that are pulled down daily through media as well as through the many foot soldiers who know not their duty or mission.

In summary read but be careful of your selections! Set aside any prejudice or bias beliefs and read those things that keep you privy to the lies, so that you can become a foot solider as well! If you wish to live happily lay the books down…& choose a magazine on pop culture. The rest of us who choose to expand like Lucy, can never go back, and for that reason, it’s better to stay where you are programmed to remain.


The Lottery

Helen Keller said, “Being Blind is bad, but having eyes and not seeing is worse.”

lotteryI recently read “The Lottery,” by Shirley Jackson, which is probably one of the most situational ironic stories I have ever read. As I was reading the story and began to analyze the overall hypocrisy and theme attached, I realized how quickly we as people are to grasp an idea or concept and accept it to no end and without consequence.

Man. vs. Society conflict is present in everyday living; Jackson outlines the sneaky or subliminal ideas that our government, media, and social leaders program our brains to receive with zero questions.

In the short story, Jackson titles “The Lottery,” to create an idea in the readers mind that someone will gain or win something valuable; therefore, as the reader reads on, Jackson carefully, but knowingly adds symbolic references to death and bad luck as presented by the following: black spot and box, three legged stool, perfect setting, and she even plays with the characters names, such as, Mr. Graves, and Mrs. Hutchinson.

I thought of Helen Keller’s quote after reading the story and began to realize her overall theme or message to the world. Because the story has no original setting or set location, the story is referencing society as a whole and the various ideas we as citizens adopt without challenge or cause.

I thought of a few beliefs that are pressed upon us that could very well serve as an example of thinking we are winning, but actually winning to lose:


Student Loans are required for any student who has not received a scholarship or award based off their educational achievements in high school; therefore, majority of minority students rank in the latter. We are segregated by bias test, of course, the obvious race segregation has been banned, yet most parents of minority students push the college and higher educational spoon into our mouths not knowing that the acceptance into the college also means higher debt for that child. But most minority students and graduates enjoy boasting about their educational achievements. Yet, fail to mention the debt accumulated from trying to win a “lottery ticket.” Winning but losing.

The belief that success is measured by the amount of money, the size of your home, bank account, credit score, social life, personal life, family, and overall our socioeconomic status is false. Yet, those of us who purchase those homes purchase them not from need, but for image. Those of us who purchase the cars we know others want to see, don’t purchase it for us, we purchase it for them. While, success is not measured externally, our society, especially the media, does exactly what Jackson and Keller display throughout their writings as believing we are winning when the win is actually a lose!

Although, at the end of Jackson’s short story, Mrs. Hutchinson’s family received the black dot and therefore, won the Lottery for that year. I can’t help but notice the allusion created by having the husbands draw the ticket as representing the curses and cycles created by families that become difficult for other family members to break out of or even notice for that matter; if the husbands win the first round, he will then have to subject his family to another risk. I see this as Nathaniel Hawthorne represented Hester Prynne in the Scarlet Letter; it becomes a scar of shame.

Winning the Lottery, in Jackson’s story delivers the message that a family would be scarred for life. Winning meant never being the same again. Even though, society has created multiple ideas and beliefs from religion to education that set us up for the black spot, we are unable to recognize them because challenging a tradition or belief is seen as radical and most of us would rather conform than fight regardless of the ridiculous nature for which the ideas present.

And in order to not be a spoiler, I will not proceed with the ending, but I do recommend it for a good read.

The Lottery

Drea Yaya


Lost One Lauryn Hill

Strangely, artists who deliver profound life learning lessons through their lyrics, rarely stay around long. Lauryn Hill definitely is one of those artist! Her songs: “Lost One,” “Forgive them Father,” “Doo Wop,” When it Hurts so Bad,” and “Ex-Factor,” are among the most educational pieces of music to ever exist!

Doo Wop

Lauryn speaks magic through her lyrics and truly understands people! Some of the topics in her music discuss life’s perpetrators, people who fake “being” in order to gain attention, empathy, and  or social likeness verses being self.  In her lyrics she teaches about being “real black women,” being honest with ourselves and learning to identify the surface level brothers. Lauryn speaks on being patient and allowing what will be… forcing!

LIBERATION Outcast, Cee-Lo, Big Rube, and Erykah Badu

Young People! Shake that load off! Really, there isn’t much to discuss. Listen and Learn! We are all Slaves…Liberate the mind and lift the shade that has been pulled over our eyes!


Black Wonder Woman!!! But Why?




Black women lead the race as being the most successful educated women in the world.


Whoop Whoop! Hooray for us!

How sad our black brothers must feel hearing the news that they have been surpassed by the weaker sex in the realm of success. Even with the statistics speaking volumes to the black community that our sisters are running our families and leading our children, it also pumps the black woman’s ego into believing that she is now invincible and shall we say Wonder-Woman?

Why is this entitlement such an aspiration for our black women is yet to be understood or researched, but I stand strong and believe that as black women, we want what white woman have, which is a strong providing man who we can follow and let lead, but with most of our brothers being raised by strong black women alone, we are left with a feminized generation of black men who have the slightest idea on what leading a family and being a man even looks like!

I praise our black women for having the desire to better themselves in the avenue of education and career, but what rule denoted that we as black women must also adopt the strong woman mentality? Knowing what we know about our generation and our black men, black women can’t afford to gain control in every element of our being. Black women don’t cry anymore, black women can’t show emotions in the presence of a man, and black women aren’t allowing black men to see their vulnerability out of fear of being seen as less than him,-weak, which in grand scheme of life and living, she is exactly that-the weaker sex.

Sure this sounds contradictory of everything black confidence stands for, and it seems as if we can’t win for losing regardless of the decisions we make. It seems we either settle for the lifestyle our black man creates for us, or we go out and make it happen and get it for ourselves! I use the word settle because it seems black women have been granted more opportunities than our black men-limiting them to fewer options on being able to provide and lead a family. And in return, black women are becoming stronger, alienated our black men, and less feminine from trying to take the role of a man.


As an educator, I notice the strong woman mentality or pimped-up aggression inside young black girls and during conversations with them I learn that they are hurting and angry with their lives even as children. They want the nice clothes, they want the nice homes, and the loving parents. And when placed in an environment, such as school with children from all walks of life, they become aware of their situations, which channels into determination and anger!

Just the other day, I took a little girl into my arms during lunch-time and had a conversation with her about her negative actions and attitude. I asked if she was angry with the teacher or another student, but neither was the culprit to her agitation; therefore, we concluded that she was just angry with being seen as less than the other girls at the school and whenever she was reprimanded for not having homework or talking out of turn, she lashed out as if the whole world could see her dysfunction or could read her mind and learn the thoughts in her mind that she wasn’t worthy of more.

After consoling her and hugging her, I developed a sense of understanding and promised myself that my goal for this year is to make her cry! I want her to feel her emotions and become a little girl not a strong little lady! Crying cleanses the soul and recuperates the mind leaving us released and ready to start again. But rarely, even as adults, black women see crying as a weakness, which bewilders me, for we are women not men, so who cares if we cry? We are built to cry! Our bodies are meant to show emotions. And rather we have a doctorate degree in biology or work at the general dollar store, black women should never become so engulfed with being the Man that she doesn’t take time to mend her feminine energy and baste in the greatness of being a woman and allowing a man to be a man!

The best feeling a black woman can feel is feeling comfortable enough to show her vulnerability, let her guard down, and give the torch to her man while supporting him as he leads the way!  Sure, we can keep succeeding in our careers, but our doing so, only contributes to the black family, it should never be the sole resource, and she should never be the leader.


Maybe the message should be written to the black man, but since I am a black woman, I can’t speak on what he needs to do. I can only say that whatever is going on with him, we can’t be making it any easier for him by stepping on his toes. It is not necessarily the education that we receive that makes us strong independent women, but the mentality that comes with the degree. It’s almost like taunting to hear results that black women are the most educated women in the world.


~Drea Yaya






The Camera Chasers and The Camera Chases!

The Camera Chasers &…

imagesZNE3P8D8 images66EM9Z91

Rev. Sharpton and Rev. Jessie Jackson please stop chasing the camera. Please demonstrate when lights are off and publicity is silence. If Sharpton and Jackson were providing the black community with the correct leadership and teachings while cameras were off, several of our black men and women would still be alive. I can only imagine that Sharpton and Jackson were sitting home for the last few months awaiting the next brother to be shot so that they may get their shot at fame!

We only here from these brothers when the black community is suffering rather than hearing or seeing their contributions during the calm before the storm. We can only ask our self whether or not their character is credible. It saddens me to see the black community rally behind camera chasers. Drama fuels their pockets and is the leading contributors to the success of their campaigns. Had these brothers’ hearts and fight been appropriately targeted, Ferguson, Missouri’s, police department would have been found out before the death of Michael Brown. Why did it take/why does it take a camera to wake Sharpton and Jackson up out their sleep? Where is the urgency?

Why aren’t Sharpton and Jackson sending our black brothers home from this protest and teaching them about their deposition or teaching them how to overcome incidents such as Michael Brown and Trayvon Martin? If the black community wants to win, why aren’t we being taught to be patient, fight silently with educating our mind, fight quietly so not to alert anyone to the allegiance forming amongst our people, and most of all, why aren’t they teaching our black people that the only way to win is through education! Is protesting all we can do? Can we not take our young black boys home, sit at the kitchen tables, and teach them how they will be perceived in this world and teach them how their disposition is already a threat even before they are 18 years old; therefore, they must conduct themselves in a fashion that will not only allow them to move through the system unharmed but also save their life!

Protesting is temporary and staged if nothing else! What we need is long-term influences that will not only save our people today or tomorrow but the next generation as well. Jessie and Al have the capability and enough support from the black community to not just follow the crowd but build the crowd even when no one is looking. Instead, Sharpton and Jackson look for ways to capitalize off the black community’s degeneration-rather than prevent, they persist.

The Camera Chases:


together    Malcolm & King  

Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Medgar Evans, Elijah Muhammad, Maya Angelou, Ida Bell Wells-Barnett, and even our own president, President Barack Obama performed and perform their duties to the black community whether the lights are on or off. Cameras love them because they aren’t working for popularity. All candid shots for them! Their vision and their purpose are simple, create and ingrain in black people: confidence, pride, education, and knowledge of what being black means when growing up in a white world.

medgar Evans

Fight when there seems there is nothing to fight about. Educate when it seems no new learning is needed. It is during these times that our influence on our young is most pertinent, not after the death, but fight and educate before the deaths occur.

imagesV3V7OOK4   Muhammad and King          

Cameras chased Malcom X even when he preferred to fight in the shadows. Cameras followed Martin Luther King Jr. even when he was eating. When have we ever seen a camera chase Sharpton or Jackson? These brothers could be walking right outside the CNN news station in Washington, DC, and not receive even a glance, because not only do they play to the gallery, but even white people understand that they are hoodwinking the black community into believing they care and can actually make a difference.

idaIda B.

Those who seek attention are seen as thirsty and hungry from starvation; Sharpton and Jackson understand that concept better than anything else; therefore, when there is a crisis in the black community, they put their shoes on and speed towards it. If their purpose was active before the shots were fired and the cameras rolled, they wouldn’t need to talk so loud, dress so pretty, or preach so much. Their works would be seen by the masses, as it has from our fallen heroes and those who continue to fight the battle with or without the cameras rolling.