Tyler Perry & His Love for Elephants
The matriarch is the eldest female cow in a herd of elephants who leads the younger cows and their calves through survival. She is usually the wisest cow and teaches the younger cows how to raise their calves and how to make decisions with food, danger, shelter, etc.
Tyler Perry’s role of Madea resembles the elephant community. Each time Perry dresses in his gray wig, knee high stockings, and grandma house coat, he becomes what black people have accepted as the crutch for majority of black families. Perry’s role of Madea is the safe haven for abused women, the decision maker, the support system, and the home is the location for families to hibernate during transitional periods, cookouts, family reunions, meetings, etc…Unfortunately, Perry deliberately made his role of Madea a widow.
How does this relate to the elephant matriarch?
Just like the eldest cow, Madea leads the herd of black people through all their decisions. When they are lost are confused it is Madea who saves them and teaches them the right way to proceed successfully.
Where are the bull-elephants or Black men in this equation?
Tyler Perry loves Elephants. Surrounded by several black women, their children, and their incapability to succeed in life without her guidance sends the message to society that black men are non-representative.
In each movie, the character of Madea saves the day, not a man. Each movie, Madea counsels, teaches, and ultimately makes the decisions for the other women.
In the elephant community a male calf is led by the matriarch until he is at least 10 years of age and able to reproduce. He relies heavenly on the Matriarch and never knows the bull that created him.
Once a bull, his job is to procreate in the elephant community and do nothing more. They go from cow-to-cow creating more calves and basically create a bachelor type herd with other bulls all awaiting mating season. They have almost zero responsibility for anything, including their calves.
What message is this sending to our youth?
Our youth adore…no simply love the humor Madea puts out through his drag appearance. But sublimely, Tyler Perry is teaching our young people that black men are unable to guide, lead, or simply be there for our black families.
Understanding that Tyler had a rough upbringing, this man has the opportunity and outlet to lift-up the black community, but instead he delivers our dirty laundry verses glorifying our good and inspiring our youth, especially our boys, to grow up and be leaders in their families.
I have seen a shift in our communities since his rise to fame. Men think it is okay to sit back and let their women take the lead, like the elephants. And our women, just as the elephants, feel it is okay to be the loudest, boldest, and most aggressive in the family when those roles should be reversed.
Tyler Perry had to study elephants before deciding to surround his acting career with the exact attributes cows, bulls, and calves exhibit in the wild.
Think About It!
Why do black women hate black women?
That’s your Sister and you both have something the other needs! Find it!
This is a subject that I’ve been observing for a while and today, I feel the need to speak on it:
I can remember a time when a sexy black woman would walk into a room I was in, and I would go into defense mode! Yes defense mode (a mode designed to defend why I look better than she does)! Even if this chick was bad from her toes up to the strands of her hair, I would find something-some word to describe her. She looks nasty, ghetto, ratchet, no class, etc…
But now after reflecting and falling in love with myself, I realized, I had to have some major low self-esteem, and I had to think low of myself to the point that I resulted in belittling or downgrading my beautiful black sister just for keeping herself put-together and looking nice!
Today, 2014, I haven’t met a single woman black or white who has made me feel inferior or evoked in me the need to hate on her. Now, I see the beauty in everyone, and sometimes I may tell the chick to her face that she’s pretty or that I like her hair, etc., and it’s all genuine, because that’s what I do, I look for the pretty, I look for the good!
Back in the day, when I felt like shit, I looked for the shit in other people. And If I couldn’t find any, I would spread some of mine on them. How you feel about yourself or how you perceive yourself, create a negative outward response and or reaction towards things that seem out of your reach or that seem above your efforts or means.
Black Women if your confidence is intact, then there isn’t a person on this earth, Beyoncé, Tyra Banks, or even Halle Berry, who can make you feel inferior enough that you must hate on them. You are pretty too! You have great qualities too. And just because one woman has “real” hair down her back and you don’t, that shouldn’t make you think low of yourself and start spreading your shit their way, go buy you some hair girl!
Just because one girl has a doctorate in medicine doesn’t make her more valuable than you! Medicine may be her thing but you may shine in something else! So be glad the girl found her dream or calling and go find yours! NO shade please!
All I am saying is find the good instead of the hate! If another woman has it going on in your eyes, tell that chick and maybe she can give you some advice on how to start focusing on what makes you shine! When we find negative-shade to throw when speaking on one of our black women, we are doing what society does every day! We’re adding to the destruction! We can at least have confidence and love for our inner beings enough to tell each other how beautiful, smart; loving, caring, and in-shape we think we are.
Don’t hate the woman who has men knocking down her door that chick shines somewhere and so much that men are blinded by her radiance!
Don’t hate the woman whose finances-you and your husband put together can’t match, that chick’s shimmer shines green!
Don’t hate the woman whose body looks airbrushed or straight out of a playboy magazine! That chick shines yoga, born-with-it, run, and screams Healthy!
We all have something that makes us special and although it’s hard not to be envious of another woman’s shine, we just can’t afford it! Especially, if we are focusing on our own shine and making our own lights shine brighter!
And lastly, to the women who think they shine, but lights are dim, stop talking ill about our black sisters who have yet to light their sparks! I say dim lights because if your light shined bright, you wouldn’t dare downgrade or belittle another sister for not having a light yet! Now that shit makes me furious! Lift that chick up, throw a lifesaver or something, but no hating! And hating is not limited to hating upwards, I see black women hating on women for not having what they have, and those are the dimmers! Soon to be pitch-black!
Lesson of The Day: Find five black women and say something positive about them-TO THEM! And do this every day until it becomes your norm and watch how confident you will begin to feel! Shine Sister! Shine!
When A Woman Loves Herself!
I’ve met women from all over the world and from all different backgrounds and some of the ones I met, I can immediately tell that they love the heck out of themselves…probably even more than I love myself. So I have compiled a list of ways to tell when a woman loves herself; therefore, is ready to receive love from a man:
Number 1: She isn’t focused on you…meaning a man! She is good with just being herself and doing what makes her happy, even if it means being judged or criticized by others. For example, clubbing every night may be her thing, but of course our society may have a few chosen words for her, but hey, it makes her happy to dance and meet new people; therefore, other people’s comments doesn’t affect her inner being, and she keeps doing her!
Number 2: She is comfortable with her body. Now everyone knows this is the hardest thing to fine in a woman rather big or small, but I have found some women who love their looks, and are confident in their appearances. You can tell this by her posture and the clothes she wears. I have seen women who may not have the perfect shape dress themselves better than miss petite and never complain about their weight or care to hit the gym.
Number 3: She likes to have fun! She isn’t a serious drama queen, always on edge, or thinks she is better than other people. She laughs loud, take risks, and is over all outgoing and fun to be around because she keeps everything light. She is probably rarely embarrassed by anything that she does and is most likely popular and liked by many! A joyful pleasant woman!
Number 4: She won’t accept mediocre treatment from you. No disrespect, because if you do, she will leave! She loves herself so much, that she wants you to love her as much as she does, so no: hurting each other feelings, mind games, lying, cheating, & most of all, no disrespect. Several things fall under disrespect, and with her, she won’t tolerate any of them. Too much love going on around in her head to deal with mess. So tighten up if you want this woman!
Number 5: Finally, she knows how to let you treat her like a woman. She won’t try to take your role in society or in the family away. She is all woman and wants you to be all man! She is loving, caring, and affectionate enough around you that you may find yourself opening up to her in ways you never imagined could happen. If you find that her energy allows you to be affectionate with her then this woman probably loves herself, which in turn allows you to love her as well!
Why black Men Give Us Babies But Won’t Stay?
Disclaimer: This is my opinion and not reflective of all black women.
First off, black women are beautiful. Secondly, so are black men. Although both genders have the potential to be some of the most beautiful people in this world; only the latter has won that spot. How? By showing other races that they can devalue, produce, abandon, and still maintain a healthy relationship with others. Black women have longed be seen as least attractive when put up against their counter-parts, (any other race). Being a black woman, I became curious and began observing myself along with my friends and other women of all backgrounds to prove whether or not the belief was true. Sadly to say, it exists. We are the ugliest race of women out there…but how did it come to be.
Ever wonder what percentage of single black women raising kids alone make-up the worldly population? Well the numbers are astronomical! Being that the black race alone only makes up 13% of the American population, we have over 50% of our households being run by single black mothers with children under the age of 18 years old. Why? Simply stated, expectations and standards are low amongst blacks but especially amongst the black woman. When did we become so low that we felt it to be acceptable for us to raise a child alone? Perplexing to say the least, but it’s true, black women have lower standards and expectations than other races. The problem dates back to our own upbringing and whether or not our own parents held high expectations of themselves. Today, more women are sleeping with men and having more casual sex before actually comprehending what she really wants out of life. And by that time, she has already succumbed to the poison embed in the black system and bore a child into a single parent household, but the scariest concept of it all is that she is okay with it and accepts it as if it’s the norm, and news flash for all-It is not nor should it ever be!
So, how does these low expectations and acceptance of anything affect our culture? It makes the black women look unattractive to any other man even to the man who gave her the child in the first place. Even he is turned off from her lowness. Of course, many of you are reading this article and thinking, how dare someone say black women are losing in the game, but one thing I have always been is a reflector and reflection is a powerful element. If a woman is able to lure a man into her home, date, have sex, and bare his child, why can’t she make him stay? Why do black men keep leaving black women? Why does the black woman keep letting the black man leave?
It’s because of the low standards and the easiness that the black woman displays verses the sturdiness and high expectations of their other counterparts; therefore, even the black man has begun to look outside his race for someone to place those high demands on him and in some sense, force him to do right and grow up! Nowadays, majority of black women are happy just to have a man’s baby whether the man remains or not is not an issue to her, for in her mind, she has won over the other women, but in actuality she has lost plenty.
Every time a black woman has a child with a black man and that black man leaves her to make other babies with other black women, he destroys his blood line and in turn indirectly tells the world that black women aren’t shit. Our expectations are so low that black men come to us when they have nothing and need someone to accept their low qualities, but soon as they get back on their feet, zoom zoom, he’s gone again, and he’s not taking the black woman nor the kids with him. It’s normal to him just like its normal to her for the mother to raise the child in a single household; with the black race making up less than half of American’s population, we have the highest percentage of black women raising kids alone and receiving government resources based on our population by ratio.
So why are black women losing the game? It’s our standards. We place low standards on our men, we place low standards on ourselves, and our kids witness this destruction of family and thus a cycle is started and sadly will not be broken by many. Once black women get that man, have his baby, and he leaves to go on to the next one, that woman is forced to become half and half-half woman and half man. I’ve witness black women become so stressed and disoriented that their appearances become manly, their aggression becomes manly, actions become manly, and finally they live the life of a man for trying to be both the woman and the man. Her femininity is taken away as she tries to live a double life of responsibility that is meant to be shared by two not one.
Women should be gentle, soft, and delicate, but with two young kids running around her house and having to work and pay bills there is no time for her to display those qualities, so what other men are seeing is a strong robust woman trying to make it out here in this world. A woman who has forgotten what it feels like to be a GIRL. A woman, who is trying to get her kids out the house so she can focus on a relationship, which by that time, she’ll appear so manly, no man will want her. So, what is the black man doing while the black woman is transforming into the man? Most of them are getting ready to produce another messed up black family and others are trading sides, for they find it rather slim with the pickings of attractive black women.
Women weren’t designed to raise kids alone, take care of a home, and be feminine all at once. Its absolute impossible and for black men to suggest that it is-is outrageous. Amusing as it might be, the same men that give these now ugly unworthy women the kids, usually end up with a woman who doesn’t have his kids; and most of the time, she is the one he marries. What’s up with that? What sign does that send to the universe but that the black woman was good enough to have sex with, and her sex was good, but I didn’t love her, so I left, and the other four after her had the same thing going for them, but I’d much rather be with this woman who doesn’t have my kids, because she looks better?
In summary, black women are losing the game more than other women because over half our race is being brought up in a single mother household where the woman who is meant to be feminine is being forced by the black man/nature to take his place in the world and be father; therefore, the universe responds to this shift in connectivity and provides the woman with the critical attributes to sustain her living causing her to look more masculine, more aggressive, more angry, and less feminine, for feminine women are just that…feminine and thus should only be responsible for feminine things. Even the dictionary regards femininity as music occurring on a metrically weak beat…delicacy and prettiness. There is nothing delicate about raising two children, working a full time job, and keeping up a house hold. There is nothing pretty or appealing about that, so black women, you have heard the stories; you’ve witnessed the feeling of betrayal felt when black men leave their race of women behind, but the question is what will you do now that you’ve come and you’ve heard? You are ugly, you are unworthy, and your standards are the lowest, is what society has said about us! It shows in your face, your choice of words, your choice of career, and your choice of men. Nowhere is it written that a woman is responsible for being the head of the household, but unfortunately black women we make up over half. But the worst thing is we accept it!
Here’s a suggestion: Everybody messes up at least once in their lives; therefore, we charge it off to the game, but in order to bring your attractiveness back, and bring femininity back to your bodies, take a step back from the stove, let the reins go from the horse, take your hand off the steering wheel, and give masculinity back to the man…its ugly on you. Put some expectations on him, hike up your standards; stop running yourselves to the grave too early trying to do something even science says is impossible and that’s trying to be a man. If you want to be the man then unfortunately you will inherit his looks and actions too.
As Beautiful Black Women, we are what other women strive to be when it comes to physical attributes, our skin, our breasts, our curves, our butts, our everything! So why can’t we force our men to step up and meet us where our standards are whether than stooping down to his? He will respect you more when you put your foot down and start loving yourself first! Start taking care of your feminine needs and allow him to be the man in your life by not accepting the low digs, the unacceptable behavior, and show him we are a race of women who have high standards and expectations and if it means leaving him, then ok, but don’t dare take his manhood away by doing his job as nature would have it!
Black women don’t downgrade believe that!
So everyone knows that Mariah Carey is a Mega Star to say the least, and I won’t be the first to admit that Mariah could have done much better than Nick!!! Off my girl, I’ve loved her music since I was 12! Beautiful regardless, but let me explain why she had to do it?
Why black Women date down?
Lets clear up the stereotypes that say successful black women find it hard to date. What they mean to say is that black successful women find it hard to find men who are willing to allow them to feminine.
Any successful person has to portray a masculine façade when it comes to making that money and taking care of business, but what happens with majority of our black brothers is that masculine trait is the turn on for them, but we women want to be able to come home and be a woman! If we date what we suppose to date, whatever that means, we usually run into a competition with our man. He wants to be catered too and so do we! What ends up happening is black women have to bring that masculinity home to deal with their feminine man.
What dating down does for Black Women (based off society not my belief)?
When a black successful woman dates down the guy is usually one of the following:
- A guy who may not be as educated as her, but street smart, and understands that he is the man no matter how much money she makes. He is strong in mind and emotions. He may have the belief that all women are weak and therefore, doesn’t view his woman as anything other than a woman. (I like him)
- A guy who was raised with both parents and understands that women need a man and a man needs a woman. He is the one who may be viewed as a punk to other men who weren’t raised with both parents. He may have gone to school and cool with working and taking care of his family. therefore, those values of allowing a woman to be feminine came from his mother.
3. Or a guy who has lived life enough to understand that no woman asked to be masculine. He understands that once equal rights were granted to women of all races, that law erased femininity for the most part. Yes, he would be older than her, but he is knowledgeable about what women need because he was married before or long-term relationship where he was the man.
So I’ve heard a lot of people say black women have to downgrade while black men upgrade, but in all honesty, the man she marries or dates may have an upgrade that she can’t get anywhere else. He may be very strong in areas unseen to the public but very obvious to her and her needs as a woman. As women that’s all we want! We want to be let alone and be a feminine. But society says we date down when we make more money or are more educated than our partners. Why so?
The next time you see a successful black woman with what you may think is a downgrade brother, stop and think, what is he doing for her? And even though, you can’t see it, he’s allowing her to be a woman at home.